Friday, January 30, 2009

Roosters are my new worst friend

I have a loose list of things that i strongly dislike, Roosters, have recently been put at the top of that list.

The awful noise that they make is terrible at any time of the day. But of course, they choose the most innopportune times to make those noises. Namely 1 AM and around 4-5 AM. The worst part being the viral spread of their screams.

It only takes one rooster, one stupid awful rooster, to decide its time to make a fuss, then suddenly a mitosis of crowing begins. Before you know it, one has multiplied itself into 300 and roused all the neghboring dogs as well.

This cacophonous call and response can erupt at any time, last for any length, and end just as abruptly. And all for reasons our human senses could never perceive.

The worst, however, is actually the occasional addition to the chorus of a pig being slaughtered. Its only happened once, but i could almost swear that satan was squealing outside of the door, producing the most piercing, unnerving sound i´ve ever heard in my life. The dogs and roosters at this point make up the chorus of the damned, moaning horribly in the background of this aural hell.

I´ve decided to build myself a cave of wool felt. And foam egg crates.

Oh, and here´s the list:

1. roosters
2. hiccups
3. cobwebs in my face
4. sudden stops in the car
5. American Exceptionalism
6. being put on the spot
7. the way that Anime characters squint their eyes and their mouths get big enough to swallow a boat, while being incredibly whiny at the same time
8. choppy cell phone calls
9. dentists drills- even just the sound
10. amoebas

1 comment:

  1. oooh, no wonder you were so pissed off at me when i was failing at driving my dad's stick shift around albany.